Essay on the meaning of avoidance and joking relationship

A particular form of kinship behavior is known as avoidance. In this behavior, as is clear by the nomenclature, a person avoids meeting, seeing, sitting or talking to another. Such avoidance is almost universal in tribal kinship relationships. The following are some important forms of avoidance relationships.

1. Daughter in law and parents in law avoidance

In Yokadhir tribe the daughter in law cannot show her face to her father in law or elder brother of her husband. She cannot directly speak to them nor can she stand in their company or change clothes in their presence. Thus she keeps her face covered before them.

2. Son in law and mother in law avoidance

Just as one finds the custom of avoidance of father in law by the daughter in law, similarly in some tribes the son in law avoids any type of contact and relationship with mother in law. In some tribes the son in law cannot talk to his father in law as well. If he has to convey something to his in laws he gesticulates and makes signs but never speaks.

3. Brothers, sisters or sibling avoidance

This type of avoidance is found in Yokadhir tribe. One cannot talk anything he likes to his brothers, sisters and even cousins. They cannot change clothes before each other, nor can they be nude in the presence of others.

In Andaman tribes a man cannot directly speak to his younger brother’s wife. He can do so only through some intermediary. On the other hand there is no restriction upon the contact or communication between a man and his elder brother’s wife.

In Malenesia the brother and sister cannot meet each others. Among Trobriands if the brother per chance happens to observe his sister making love to some man, all the three have to commit suicide.

Causes of avoidance

Psychologists and anthropologists have tried to discover reasons behind avoidance behavior. Of these, the most important are as follows:

1. Opinion of Taylor

According to Tylor, avoidance is particularly due to matriarchal system. In some tribes, after marriage, the bridegroom stays in the family of the wife. Since he has no definite status in the family, he is avoided. After procreation his status becomes some what more definite and better.

In the words of R.H. Lowie, “Avoidance by the husband of the wife’s family is in some way connected with his living with them, and vice versa as to the wife and the husband’s family. In other words, matrilocalisBJ goes with son in law avoidance, patrilocalism with daughter in law avoidance.’ Tylor’s view however, is not applicable everywhere.

In some tribes, avoidance is not due to location. For example, Zuni and Hopi are matriarchal, and ye’ they have no such custom. Again, Tylor’s theory does not explain the reason of avoidance among heterosexual relatives.

Again, in some societies, both® the type of avoidance are found. However, pointing out to the important of Tylor’s view Lowie has said, “But Tylor’s cross cultural approach remains valid. Whatever may be the explanation, the amazing parallels between the cultures of distant people cannot be ignored and with proper caution we are right in seeking possible correlates.”

2. Opinion of Frazer

According to James Frazer, avoidance is due to sexual reasons. He based his theory particularly upon the brother sister avoidance in Vedda of Ceylone and the inhabitants of Trobriand island. Among Vedda people, the brother and sister cannot live under the same roof nor can they eat together. According to Frazer this avoidance is for checking sexual relationship among hetro sexual people. However, Tylor’s theory does not explain the cause of avoidance among same sexes.

3. Opinion of Freud

Like Frazer, Sigmund Freud has also explained avoidance with reference to sex relationship. His theory is known as psycho-analytical theory. According to it sex motivation is normal among persons of opposite sex. The rules of avoidance try to solve this problem. The avoidance of mother in law and son in lawrelationship is due to the possibility that due to attraction towards his bride, the son in law may be attracted to the mother in law or such a feeling may develop in the mother in law for the son in law. Since the daughter lives with the mother for so many years, she has natural attachment to her.

This leads to rivalry since both the son in law and the mother crave for her love this rivalry leads to avoidance. Freud’s view cannot explain avoidance everywhere, particularly among same sexes.

4. Opinion of Lowie

According to Lowie both in laws have different cultural and social values. It is possible that the mores of wife’s side may be different from the mores of the son in law’s side. In matriarchal family, the bridegroom is different from other members of the family since he comes from the other family. Hence he is avoided. Similarly, in a patriarchal family the daughter in law is avoided.

5. Opinion of Turney High

Turriey High has explained avoidance in terms of conflicts. According to him it is the best method to achieve harmonious relationships. In a family the status of the daughter in law is peculiar. She has to serve the in laws in the family. Therefore she cannot understand proper relationships leading to conflict with the in-laws. Avoidance is an attempt to solve the problem of this conflict.

6. Opinion of Radcliffe Brown

According to Radcliffe Brown the main cause of avoidance is social. Love and hate are natural among members of two different families. Hatred is harmful for the organization of family. Avoidance is a cure for this conflict. Presenting this same fact in another way, Chappie and Coone have pointed out that avoidance lessens interaction.

Joking relationships

Joking relationships are opposed to avoidance relationships. It includes relationship of elder brother’s wife and the younger brother of her husband, brother in law and sister in law, nephew and aunt, etc. Joking is mostly between relationships based upon matrimony and not upon blood relationships.

There may be sex relationships among relatives having joking relationships. Among Oraon’s joking is so much effective that sometimes the grand father marries the grand daughter. Joking relationships of brother in law and sister in law are the most popular. Sex relationships among them are equally wide spread.

In almost all the societies there are joking relationships among younger brother of a person and his wife. Sexual relationships again, among them are most widely prevalent. Among primitive societies, joking relationships are found among maternal aunt and her nephew. Among Hopi and Trobrianders it is so much prevalent that it even leads to sex relationships.

According to Radcliffe Brown, joking relationships show friendship. Chappie and Coon maintain that joking is a means to maximum interaction. It also finishes or diminishes conflicts. According to Lowie joking is a psychological tendency among potential mates.