Human beings operate on a pleasure/pain basis. In other words, people are motivated to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Food, freedom, sex, etc. are the pleasures that people are actively motivated to seek. Similarly, money, a feeling of accomplishment, winning and success are some of the lesser but still rewarding pleasures. Games are enjoyed by people because of their clear-cut goals and scorekeeping characteristics which even provide a chance to win a motivation to play. In its absence, the game would seem meaningless and people would not like to play it.

Punishment is a negative motivator and people perform at a level just sufficient to avoid punishment. On the other hand, praise and recognition are positive motivators. However, being generally nice and giving constant praise to people regardless of their behavior is not motivation. Gifts another kind of motivators is like a Christmas present. The success of the gift is determined by how much the receiver likes it, not how much the giver does. Challenging work, good money, and respect can act as effective motivators for most of the people.

People with a low sense of self-esteem look to the work they produce as a constant measurement of their inherent worth. They fear failure because it would strike at the very core of their value as a person. So, they depend on procrastination. It allows them to preserve an illusion of brilliance without ever having the illusion destroyed by reality.

Fear of success is another reason for procrastination. Such people only consider the additional responsibility that success may bring. Part of the fear is that if you do well this time, you will have to top yourself next time too. This need for perfection is often a reflection of self-esteem problem. Such people spend inordinate amounts of time making sure that there is no room for criticism. In the process, they end up far behind schedule. It would be a nice idea to set up checkpoints so one does not find himself in a vacuum.

ADVERTISEMENTS:

All people have their own abilities and limitations. While some things do need to be perfect, if you are 80 per cent, you are already ahead in the game. It should not be forgotten that there is something called average because that is what the majority of the people can do.

Self-esteem or the importance of feeling good about oneself cannot be underestimated. When you like yourself, you also feel confident enough to take the kind of chances that will give you success. To become more self-esteeming, think more highly of yourself and start owning, appreciating, accepting, and becoming more comfortable with yourself. With an increase in self-esteem, less and less situations will seem to be fraught with peril. It would enable you to comfortably look people in the eye and make you look more confident.

Low self-esteem can thwart even the best-laid career plans, however well educated, experienced and talented a person may be. Often low self- esteem stems from feelings of guilt. It may arise from aggressive impulses or their desire to succeed if success represents something unacceptable. It could also arise by reminders of past problems. Hence, it is necessary to examine the circumstances that bring out those feelings of low self-esteem. One should also try to understand what other forces are also at work.

Risk-taking is one of the answers to deal with the problem of low self-esteem. If you take a risk in one area of your life and succeed, the impact will be felt in other areas too. Attempting some physical feats in the outdoors that you have never dreamed you were capable of would increase one’s self-respect. The improved self-confidence would enable you to be more assertive and may result in increasing amounts of initiatives from your side.

ADVERTISEMENTS:

On the other hand, if you fail in physical endurance, it would teach you one of the most beneficial lessons. People come to understand that failing is just failing. It is not a tragedy or a condemnation. Simply, they were unable to do it and life goes on. It will give you limits that define your identity.

However, while taking risks, there are some things to be kept in mind. Firstly, start out small. If you begin by taking big risks, you are almost guaranteed to fail. Only if you succeed in a small risk, then take a larger one. Secondly, seek out people who will support you. Surround yourself with nurturing people, and be open to their feedback. The support of others will make you feel more secure in taking risks.

Third, change your negative filter to a positive one. Since low self-expectations that result from low self-esteem are hard to shake, they may instinctively minimize any positive result you might be gaining. You will need to convince yourself that people are not just pretending and are genuinely appreciating your ideas, work, etc.

There are numerous things that can be done each day to feel good about yourself. They may vary from reading classics to helping someone without telling him or talking with a good friend. Exercise, jogging, biking, stretches, walking, meditation, prayer or simply a quiet moment spent communing with nature can help you feel more balanced, and confident about life. It would help in washing away all the negative energy that has been accumulated.

ADVERTISEMENTS:

Too often, it is our own negative thinking and negative self-talk that dead-end a career. Maintaining a balanced perspective is essential. Do not limit yourself to think only in terms of black and white. There is always a scope to do something better and there is always the next time. So, instead of frowning at something gone wrong, concentrate and focus your energy on doing the same thing better when a similar opportunity presents itself.