Need for change in the attitudes of victims’ parents in India (women protection)

Besides need for change in the attitude of law-enforcement officials, there is also a need for change in the attitudes of victims’ parents. When we focus our attention on the cases of domestic violence (wife beating, the committing of sex offences by family members, compelling daughter-in- law to commit suicide) an important question arises: why should parents be not blamed for the plight of their daughters?

Why do they seek matches for their girls where to solemnise marriage they even have to borrow money or spend all their life savings? Why do they decide to marry their daughters in dowry-greedy families? Why do they not ask their daughters to leave their husbands-‘in-laws’ house when they come to know of their daughter’s harassment?

Why are they so concerned about social stigma and decide to send back their daughters to their husbands/in-laws whenever their daughters are beaten and tortured by their husbands and parents-in-law? Why do they acquiesce in the demands of their daughters’ in-laws? Why do they sacrifice their daughters at the altar of (the legality of) a bad marriage?

There is also the question as to why girls submit to oppression? Why do they not realise that a divorce is better than continuing with a marriage where money is the be-all and end-all of all relations.

Why do they not walk out of their marriage and try to stand on their own feet? Why do they not realise that by committing suicide, they are creating problems for their children and an emotional trauma for their younger sisters and parents? Marriage is not the ultimate end in life but happiness certainly is.

Suffering violence is so deep-rooted in our cultural milieu that not only illiterate, less educated and economically dependent women but even sophisticated, highly educated and economically independent women do not seek legal or police protection.

This fact is necessary to keep in view while pondering over measures to control woman’s abuse in our society and for dealing with female depersonalisation trauma.

Five measures need our attention in this direction: (1) creating awareness among males for changing their traditional outlook towards women, (2) strengthening voluntary women’s organisations, (3) focusing on education and training programmes for women, (4) opening women’s hostels, and (5) changing criminal justice system.

1. Creating awareness among males for necessity of change in their traditional outlook towards women: Within the family, what a woman requires from a man is a touch of concern and sympathy. She does not want complete authority; what she wants is that she should be consulted in decision-making processes.

Her husband and her in-laws should have some confidence in her. They should speak soft words of encouragement instead of taunting and teasing her, and make her feel that she is wanted in the family.

Outside the family, she wants to get freedom and opportunity of taking her own decisions. She may not want to do everything on her own, but she surely does not want always to lean on a man’s shoulder.

2. Strengthening women’s voluntary organisations: Women have now to say things publicly which they dared not say before. The voice of an individual woman carries no weight. In fact, a woman is accused of being outspoken if she expresses her radical views.

However, if a group of women of like-minded views join together, form an organisation (sangathan) to articulate their resentment about women’s oppression and suffering, they can easily do so and make appropriate impact.

It is through these organisations alone those women can attack the outdated social norms and values which need to be overhauled. It is, therefore, necessary to activate vigorously a larger number of women’s organisations.

These organisations can undertake following activities regarding women’s oppression: (1) hold demonstrations and public meetings and create public pressure, (2) help victims economically, emotionally and socially, (3) create awakening among women by setting up ‘Parishads’ on specific issues. (4) make reconciliatory efforts with the victim’s husband/in-laws wherever needed, (5) pressurise the police to act speedily, (6) file writ petitions in the courts against assaulter, deviant police officials and magistrates, etc. and demand a review of cases whenever necessary, (7) organise press conferences for highlighting specific cases of torture and cruelty.

3. Focusing on education and training programmes for women: So long women are dependent on their husbands economically, socially and psychologically, they will continue to be harassed and humiliated in our society. It is only by educating them (through adult education classes and by laying emphasis on female education from childhood) and giving them training in skills and crafts that they can be made to become independent.

It is this independence which will enable our women to liberate themselves from their antiquated sex role ideology (the solution implied by Traditional Socialisation Theory), become assertive and self-accepting (Learned Helplessness Theory) and stop goading their husbands/in-laws into ill-treating them (Provocation Theory).

4. Opening women hostels-. The victims of violence who want to take up a job to escape torture face the problem of finding accommodation in new places. Constructing more women’s hostels by government, voluntary agencies, philanthropists, employers, or by trusts, etc. will provide shelter to victims who have no place to go to.

Fortunately, there is already a trend in this direction but these hostels are being created only in big cities. Similar efforts in smaller cities and towns will prove to be a great boon to the needy victims of violence.

5. Changing criminal justice system: What is suggested in this context is: (a) a change in attitudes and values of judicial officials, (b) a change in police attitude, and (c) the strengthening of family courts.

Change in the rigid and traditional values of magistrates can be brought about through orientation courses where findings of empirical works undertaken by scholars in different social sciences could be discussed and analysed.

Before the public loses faith in the courts (it has already partially lost faith in the police) before the courts’ judgments have a dampening and demoralising effect on people, judges have to learn to depend more on the sociological interpretation of law rather than rigidly sticking to technical formalities and precedents. Similar change is reqilired in the police attitude too.

In brief, the following measures may be suggested for reducing women’s depersonalisation trauma: (1) Legal literacy of women, or creating awareness of rights among women through media, published literature and voluntary agencies. (2) Judicial activism, i.e., giving liberal and creative interpretation of law than literal or technical interpretation. (3) Constant monitoring of justice and examining impact of legislation. (4) Monitoring rescue homes. (5) Strengthening free legal aid societies. (6) Effective functioning of Family Courts and Family Counselling Services.